regret and positive thinking

I have often heard people say they have no regrets about their lives and would do it all again. I have always thought this meant that people just didn't care if what they did was wrong or right. Lately I have realized that maybe what they were saying was they have lived a life in which they never did anything bad enough to regret.

As I type this I am leaning more toward the former. I mean, it's pretty impossible to live a life in which you never do a single thing that you regret. Or maybe they mean they have forgiven themselves for regrettable actions in the past and moving forward they will not do things they might regret?

Similarly, I have recently realized that positive thinking effects my life much more directly than I had thought. I had thought of it as some sort of supernatural thing or some impossible-to-understand theory having to do with the vibrations we send out attracting similar vibrations. However, I suddenly realize that it's much simpler than that.

occurence leads to thought, thought determines emotion, emotion determines quality of day

When I'm having a bad day it is because I am feeling a negative emotion. I'm angry about something or sad or anxious or upset somehow.

When I am feeling a negative emotion it is my body physiologically reacting to a negative thought I had about something that occurred which I labeled in my mind as "bad".

THEREFORE - If I can avoid labeling things in my mind as "bad" I can avoid negative emotion, thereby making a better day for myself.

So the key is "thinking positive"...which is what they have been saying all along!

my things are not who I am

Times are tight financially right now for my family. We have been forced to drastically change our lifestyle. We took Harper out of day care since at least one of us is always at home to watch her. We have given notice at our lovely townhouse in Irvine and will be moving into an apartment in a less expensive part of Orange County. I am selling my beautiful car and preparing to buy a much less expensive but practical one. We have started going without luxuries to which we had been accustomed, such as Disneyland passports, acting classes, mani/pedis, and the like.

Suprisingly enough, what I am finding is that this makes absolutely no difference in my happiness level. Owning and doing all those things were supposed to make us happier and take our lives to a new level of enjoyment. I am just as happy now as I was then. Happier even. I am looking forward to moving out of this place which is a drain on the pocketbook. Though it's nice, it isn't ideal for us. There are no little neighbors for Harper to play with here. There is no sense of community among neighbors. In fact in the four years we've been here we have never met our neighbors. I am looking forward to selling my car, another drain on the pocketbook. It will be such a relief to have that money each month to put toward credit card bills and savings. Rather than making us happy, without us even realizing it, our possessions have been like a black cloud over our heads.

I am becoming a firm believer in "travelling light". I will be credit card debt free within two or three years and I plan on NEVER having another credit card.

I am finding that the glorious life is already here. It's not about possessions, materialistic luxuries and such. It's about living each day. Truly living. Being present for my life. Yes, having nice things is good in some ways. Quality things don't break down, they are dependable and convenient, and that's great - IF you can afford it. But if you can't really afford it, all it does is add to your worry by creating debt that hangs over your head.

So someday I plan on having a nice new car again. Someday we'll live in a nice home with all the amenities we want. But only when we can truly afford it. Until then, we will learn to live within our means. To truly LIVE within our means. And that's a great thing!!

Too many cooks in the kitchen?

I know I am weird, but sometimes I worry about things like this:

I love Tolle's philosophy and I totally believe he's right. The more I get into it, the more I want to connect with other people who are into it. So I started to check out a couple of forums that discuss Tolle. BUT... I saw some stuff on there that worried me. People giving advice that doesn't seem to be quite right.

What if the other people unintentionally inject some kind of germ into it so that it's not pure anymore?

Is it better for me to just read and study on my own, and not complicate things by bringing others into the circle? Is there such a thing as too many cooks in the kitchen?

These are the silly things I worry about.

I have been busy so I'm not posting as often as I'd like. If anyone is reading anyway???

I need to stop THINKING to start LIVING!!!

I dowloaded an "audiobook" on iTunes which is actually a recording of a series of talks given by a Buddhist monk named Pema Chodron at a retreat she did. The download is called "Getting Unstuck".

WOW!!

Immediately I though "this woman has an incredible voice." If I was a cat, I would purr just listening to her voice. So soothing and pleasant.

Throughout the recording it becomes clear that the retreat is for people who have addictions of one sort or another, but the message she brings could be shared with any group of people and it would still be just as relevant and helpful.

Throughout my search I find that I keep hearing one message loud and clear. Our thoughts are not ourselves!! And this recording is focused on that very topic. The more often I remember it, the better my life is becoming!

Worries about the future, bad memories of the past, dwelling on loneliness or feelings of any kind in the present ALL stem from thinking. And thoughts are NOT REAL! They are illusions. If I am simply in the moment, EVERY moment, there is nothing to worry about. There are flowers to smell, delicious foods to eat, art and music to create, silence to enjoy.

Of course things come up, like work, or bills to pay, and when negative thoughts and feelings arise about those things I can acknowledge them, but know that those thoughts are illusions. They are not real. And by acknowledging them, they begin to disappear.

A New Earth - finally!

I'm FINALLY over the hump with A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I refer to the first 25 pages of the book as the "hump" because I have started reading the book at least 5 times but have never been able to get through those first 25 pages.

The book, like The Power of Now, is about how our thoughts and our minds have taken over and are pretending to be us. Ironically, every time I tried reading it, my mind was all over the map. Something about the way it's written made it almost impossible for me to comprehend on first read. I found myself reading the same paragraph 3 and 4 times over again and still not having any idea what I had just read. My theory is that there is SO MUCH information - every word has such meaning - that it can't be read like other books. Usually, I can read a book and even if I have been distracted for a while I can still get the jist of what it's about. Not this book!! So I decided to take it one sentence at a time - one word at a time at some points - to make sure I comprehended each word, in hopes that that would add up to comprehension of the whole.

It worked!

And now that I got past the "hump", the book has opened up into this amazing world of its own. It's hard to describe. Let's just say that I thought "The Power of Now" was the most mind-opening and eye-opening book I had ever read, but this book is already surpassing it. No wonder Oprah loves this book! And if it's good enough for O, it's good enough for me!!

I'm really enjoying this time in my life. I feel so inspired and hopeful! I know that my "search" is really not just about the destination, but more about the journey. The search itself is helping me to realize that I ALREADY have the glorious life. I just need to learn how to open my eyes and see it!

Busy Bee!

My life is getting glorious-er and glorious-er by the day!

I am reading...you guessed it...The Power of Now again!! For the Nth time!! And loving it just as much, if not more than ever. I decided I am just going to read it over and over again as many times as it takes for me to begin living it on a daily basis. I am also reading Deepak Chopra's The Book of Secrets. Coincidentally The Book of Secrets, like The Power of Now, talks a lot about how our thoughts are not us and if we are able to quiet our thoughts we can glimpse our true nature.

Up until this point I have not been meditating each day. I guess I have been sort of meditating every once in a while by trying to focus on the Now but I have not set aside time every day in a quiet space to officially meditate. I am stating here and now that I intend to set aside time every single day to meditate starting today. Maybe if I say it here it will be extra motivation for me to actually follow through and do it!!

I am seeing how all things really are connected and how simple a concept it really is. The CONCEPT is simple; internalizing the concept is not as simple. But the beauty is that we have our whole lives to work on it!!

I have been working on flowing with the current of my life instead of trying to swim upstream all the time and I am learning so much about myself!! I never imagined it, but I LOVE screenwriting!! I had a really neat idea for a movie and decided I would write a screenplay based on the idea. I am having a BLAST!!! It is work, but it is joyful work and it is my favorite thing to do right now. I don't know what I will do when it is completed, but maybe I will try and find a way to make a movie with zero budget. Who knows? I know I can do it if I want to - we'll see how it looks when it's done.

Oh, one more thing before I go...I am following P Diddy on Twitter and I have to say I LOVE his philosophy and his outlook on life. He tweeted yesterday about how he went for a walk with his son and told his son about how a person has creative control over their own life. He is so positive! It's The Secret! And P Diddy is preaching it!!

Cool, right?

Planet Earth

I bought the Planet Earth DVD series for my husband for Christmas last year and we never got around to watching until now. If you are not familiar with the series it is a Discovery Channel produced series that took several years to create with incredible footage of wild animals, oceans, deserts, caves, forests, mountains, glaciers etc. from all over the planet.

I have been watching with tears in my eyes for two nights now. The images are so incredibly beautiful that they are almost unreal. Much of it looks digitally animated, but the amazing part is that it is all real! I keep asking myself, how is it that all these natural wonders have existed for millions of years, yet most of us have never heard of or seen most of them before?

Last night I watched the episode on caves and they showed us the most incredible cave - in New Mexico no less - called Lechuguilla. It was not discovered until 1986! The walls of this cave are absolutely covered in fine crystals, so it is as if you are standing in a massive geode! The most spectacular part of the cave is called the Chandelier Ballroom, where gypsum crystals 5 or 6 feet long hang down from the cieling. It is truly breathtaking.

The episode on deserts includes incredible footage of wild camels in the Gobi desert that took 2 months to film, because the camels are so rare and when found, they are so spooked by humans that they run as fast as they can. Even the footage of the deserts themselves is so beautiful, the sand is so smooth it looks like satin sheets.

I could go on all day about this wonderful series, but what I really wanted to say is how beautifully it puts my life into perspective. The silly little annoyances in my life which I call "problems" mean absolutely nothing outside of my own mind! If I choose to simply stop worrying about them, I begin to realize they don't even exist! I have food to eat and water to drink, shelter overhead and love in my heart! We live in a miraculous world and it is too rare that we are reminded of that.

If you haven't seen the Planet Earth series, please do if you can. You will be no less than stunned.